It has been a long time since my last post and honestly it's just because I am so ready to get out of here! Coming up is the last week of school so I am done with the children for good but I still have to teach teachers twice more. Last week I went up to Seoul and hung out with Ebony who is getting ready to leave Korea herself. BTW right now as I type to you my great organization Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated is celebrating 100 years of Service to All Mankind and I am in Korea. Right.
Anywhoo this weekend was supposed to be about my updating my resume and cover letter and getting to sending. That is next on the agenda. I am trying to think of all the things that I still want to do before I leave Korea:
Go to Japan
Go to Everland
Get three more shoes specially made
Buy some cheap jeans that fit my new curves (I totally cant fit my old pants anymore)
Get a leather AKA Jacket made
Convince Frank to get those shirts made (calling you out hommie)
My camera decided that it wanted to act all crazy with the LCD screen but it still takes pics so I gotta go back to the 90's when you couldn't see the pics and take them off of good faith. What good is that? Still it works.
On July 18th I have an Open Class that I have mentioned before and well, if they keep making a big deal out of this I am going to scream!!!! The lesson is planned there is no turning back. Either way my ticket has been purchased. SPEAKING OF WHICH!!!!
Why did my coteahcer tell me that the MOE is going to dock me 6 days pay for leaving on the 22nd and not the 28th. I really want to leave so I am not contesting it. I still get my pension.
Either way I have been spending my days updating No Fear, Just DIVA, reaching out to the fashion world, working out and bonding with my future roommate Jessica.
I really have to apologize for neglecting this blog. I started a new blog No Fear, Just DIVA to chart my journey towards a serious career in fashion and I have to admit that it has really taken off. But honestly not much has been happening. Finals are next week so I have been showing movies in class to give the students a break, I teach an English Camp on Tues and Thurs to 5 wonderful girls who are showing great improvement. I am really just sailing along until July 18th which is the day of the Open Class, and also the last day of school.
I have been running around my dong to keep fit and I love love love it! But I am really ready to go. The date has been set at August 22nd! I will be back in the States with my family and the food I love most.
I will be back next week with more details about what all has been going on and a possible pic of my EC girls. I also have some pics from my phone that I have been meaning to post so I will do it all during that time. Pray for me yall I'm busy!
Have you ever seen Brown Sugar? There is this part where Sydney is talking to Kelby about having writers block and how she isn't sure if she is good enough to write her book. She asks him about her current article and he fibs and eventually confesses that he has not read any of her other articles besides the one she wrote on him.
Later in the movie when talking to Dre he quotes on of her previous articles and lets her know that he read it every week. That meant a lot to her....it meant a lot to me.
Okay so today I am so scatterbrained and I really need to put some of my thoughts in organized order and where is any better place to do them than my blog!!! So this is everything on my mind...
FIDM:
I need a job
I need to apply for alternative loans to cover the rest of the balance of tuition
I need to make a decision about housing, student or no
There is a group on Facebook for FIDM and there are many people looking for a roommate for the LA campus in the fall, the down fall? They are just graduating from high school. One year is a long time to live with others who are that much younger than me and still trying to figure life out. But if I do student housing there is a chance that they will pair me with someone similar, right out of high school. But the prices are out of the question to live alone. Either way girl need a job. (PS I am not looking for advice...I am venting)
Teaching:
English Camps
Open Class
Regular Lessons
Okay so my students know nothing. I think I have said that before but it's like really what have you been learning the past 6 years? So I have been on a grammar kick ever since I saw that they don't know basic sentence structure and they are all like don't the Korean teachers teach that? NO they teach ish cause those kids don't know it! So I started with the Alphabet and am working my way down. Well now I borrowed a lesson from Angelica on the pronunciation differences between P, B, V, and F. F and V sounds do not exist in the Korean language so that can be a bit difficult. Still they need to know the diff and pronounce it correctly. So for two weeks (since we have had incomplete weeks due to the vacation) I have been doing pronunciation. Next week we go back to grammar first we did Nouns then Pronouns now W5H (who, what, where, etc.) that will end in a game of Jeopardy where they have to answer the questions with those starting in the category.
But....I also have to do an English Camp which is after school starting in June for 5 weeks for third graders and I will invite 3 of my second graders to join. I really need to set up a lesson plan for that, it will be 2 days a week 2 hours a day for 5 weeks. Last year it was so unorganized and I was running around looking crazy wondering why the kids would not speak or participate so now I am thinking of what exactly to do. I want to touch on all parts of learning a new language: Writing, Speaking, Listening, Comprehension. I want to touch on American slang and some idioms of course, watch some shows and have them tell me what it was about. IDK I am all over the place with that.
Lastly there is this open class that I have to do with BFF (inside joke) and well....I just don't wanna. There will be other teachers from the city and officials coming to watch the class and BFF decided that she is going to teach the class and she wants me to run the computer. Defeating the purpose. She has come up with some lesson plan that she wants to put on the computer and have me put into ppt form. I told her let's see what she's got cause she kept talking to me in the middle of class. Like I didn't have three free periods today. But honestly I wouldn't want to talk to her then either, so I have to just listen to what she says. IDK how good or bad of a teacher she is but she must be alright since I have all my advanced classes with her. She usually just sits there quietly while I teach. So I guess now she wants to get her shine on. I just hope there are no hidden agendas in all this. Either way it's up to God to handle that. She and I have not had the best relationship since the Temple Stay, (check September posts).
So that's all that's on my mind. I have yet to put this in some order and do something about any of it. Not to mention these Gifted Essays that need to be graded. Luckily I get the next few days off. I am off until Tues next week so I can get some order poppin. Until then I will be listening to Cherish's new album The Truth on BET's Listen Up and reading articles from the SisterLicious group on Facebook iming Angelica. Keep a lookout for a post on the trip to the Amusement park in Daegu soon. I just have to actually edit the pics so I can tell you guys all about it. Later!
So on May 1st Angelica and I decided to go to Daegu to buy shoes for China. It's a bigger city with more selections, and Crocs. Well it was really hot that day 31 degrees Celsiuses to be exact. We decided to get some ice cream and walk through downtown.
While we were there, there was some sort of rally going on with many Koreans sitting on the ground and listening to some man on the stage. So there were also a lot of photographers around and......
Dang nabbit I have so much to learn if I want to be taken seriously in this business so I am brushing up on and learning new fashion lingo. I am really serious about my career in fashion and am doing all that I can to get my head and both feet in the door. So I have been all over the internet reading fashion blogs and news sites for more information on the inside track. So I have subscribed to this great great great fashion blog The Fashion Bomb
This blog is all about urban fashion and features a section called Breaking into Fashion which allows readers to email questions about breaking into the industry and every capacity from PR to Modeling they get real people in the business to give really great advice. It was reading this that I realized I am not up on the lingo and that must change now. Not only the lingo but some of the fashion history, back stories, and insiders one who is serious about their career must know. There is no entry on Brand Management or Product Line Development so I think I will just have to write in some time soon.
Anywhooooo I was wondering exactly where to put all this great information and ling that I learn and there is not better place than my own space! So here we go:
First from the Chicago Tribune:
Couture: Custom-made clothing originated in France (really really really expensive)
Diffusion Line:"collection of clothing that aims to offer a designer's aesthetic to the masses" (price is a bit lower)
Shift vs Sheath:"Both refer to uncomplicated-looking dresses that end somewhere around the knee. The difference is that a shift tends to be less fitted around the waist and hips. Its straight lines are sweet and waifish in a way that the sheath, with all of its body-clinging tenacity, never will be."
Trunk Show:when a designer comes to town to show and sale its latest designs to the locals
Next are terms that I read from The Fashion Bomb that I have to be honest I just dont know so I will be looking them up as I type: (compliments of Wikipedia)
Masthead: a list, usually found on the editorial page of a newspaper or other periodical, listing the publisher, editorial board, advertising rates, etc.
Well Story
Run of Show
Sittings Editor
Atelier: artists studio or work room
Okay so if it is left blank that means that I have not found the definition but I will some time very soon. Also I will be investing in fashion insider books the titles of which will have to come at a later date outside of:
I will have to check back for other books I would purchase to fill my head but for now this is a must. Like a new spring wardrobe, it's getting hot out people and you know what that means. I am upping my workout regiment adding Pilates and cardio together for the desired results.
Okay back on track. So the thing I know to be true about me is that when I am passionate about something or something is burning a hole in my brain I must entertain it to the fullest otherwise it will fall by the wayside and who knows when that passion will arise again. So now I am trying to feed as much of my fashion lingo/insider as I can. Now dont get me wrong Fashion is what I live breathe and eat and has been for a while, but when I am like this I know me and I need to immerse myself 110%.
Well I am about to head to bed but I want to leave you with this link: Who What Wear Daily
Today was so nice outside Angelica and I decided to just hang out. Here are the pics that she took of me since we had this 5 hour long ANTM conversation.
I have this labeled as "Random Rantings" but nothing to rant about just a random post. I am getting the hang of my hair and have more clothing options now that its warmer. Enjoy!
Okay so my blog is turning more and more into my little soapbox rather than a place for me to just journal my Korean experiences. So this is the thing....there has been a lot going on in my world most of it circling my hair. I have stated over and over that I decided to go natural, a feat that many have tried and not succeeded at, or some say they could never do. Well I am not here to yae or nae anyone but I have been surrounding my self with information about natural hair and how to take care of it. Anyway I just recently sent some pics off to an exclusive group of friends who made some very positive comments and I really thank them for that. I am now releasing them to you.
Anyway I was on the Afrobella site and she left a link for a letter written to Oprah, buy the founders of NaturallyCurly.com. You see I guess on Oprah's show they gave women make-overs where they straightened a lot of the women's naturally curly hair. I have not seen it but I will check it out on Youtube and see what I can find. Anyway, to read the letter click here: HERE.
I am adding in India.Arie's Video in here cause I think it's inspirational. I still have my diva tendencies, still gotta be Mei, but being in a country were saying I am the minority is a true true true understatement I have been learning a different kind of self love.
Also as I got through different websites I always like to save the pictures for motivation. Even if the girls in the pictures dont have the same kind of hair as me if I see inspiration I keep it. Here are a few pictures that inspire me:
I have gotten these pictures off various blogs, articles, and Google searches under "afro" or "natural black hair" But the picture on the end I want to look just like her! I love her whole look. I have been buying big earrings ever since I saved this pic.
Okay so ends my soapbox. Once I get an idea of what really has been working for my hair and what products are making a difference I will get back to you.
I am posting this while still steaming so if I read this later and regret what I wrote I will deal with it at this time but I am so ready to go home. My school is denying me 4 days in the States why? Because they are afraid that I wont come back and you know what as of right now THEY ARE RIGHT! But why would I not come back? I have to finish out the year, mind you two of the 4 days I am gone are the weekend which means that I only miss two days, I have never requested time off and have missed only one day of teaching in the whole time I have been here, except for when they ask me to teach somewhere else on a school day meaning I still am within my contract. I get 7 days of vacation and if I asked to go to China or Jeju Island it's okay but because it's the States I cant go.
I AM SOOOOOO ANGRY!
I want to cry scream something march into my principal's office and plead my case but I am not I am writing to you and exposing my feelings to the world. Man I cannot believe this. I AM SOOOO ANGRY I AM SOOOO ANGRY I AM SO ANGRY I AM SO ANGRY I AM SO ANGRY.
I am sitting here at my desk listening to iTunes tunning everyone out like I usually do anyway but I have a class coming up luckily they are an advanced level and I am going to give them worksheets so I don't have to talk to them. I just don't want to talk to anyone. I want to go home. Back to my apt or the States either works right now. But I am honestly thinking of going anyway and just coming back. Take two sick days. Hold on I gotta request some handouts from the printer guy. BRB......
Okay I am on the phone with my mom and now I can cry. But I also have to teach so that is what I am getting ready to do. Later
"We the people, in order to form a more perfect union."
Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.
The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.
Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution – a Constitution that had at is very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.
And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part – through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.
This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign – to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together – unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction – towards a better future for of children and our grandchildren.
This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.
I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners – an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.
It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts – that out of many, we are truly one.
Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.
This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.
And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.
On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.
I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely – just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.
But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country – a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.
As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems – two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.
Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way
But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth – by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.
In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:
"People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters….And in that single note – hope! – I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories – of survival, and freedom, and hope – became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn't need to feel shame about…memories that all people might study and cherish – and with which we could start to rebuild."
That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety – the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.
And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions – the good and the bad – of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.
I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother – a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.
These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.
Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.
But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America – to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.
The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through – a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.
Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.
Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.
Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments – meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.
A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one's family, contributed to the erosion of black families – a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods – parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement – all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.
This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.
But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it – those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations – those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.
And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.
In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience – as far as they're concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.
Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.
Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze – a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns – this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.
This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy – particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.
But I have asserted a firm conviction – a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people – that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.
For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances – for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans -- the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives – by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.
Ironically, this quintessentially American – and yes, conservative – notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.
The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country – a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen – is that America can change. That is true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope – the audacity to hope – for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.
In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds – by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.
In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand – that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.
For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle – as we did in the OJ trial – or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.
We can do that.
But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.
That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.
This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.
This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.
This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.
I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation – the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.
There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today – a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.
There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.
And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.
She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.
She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.
Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.
Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."
"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.
But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins.
Alright now I know that the title of this post has you going "What!?" but bear with me. I am not a journalist so I am pretty sure that there is someone out there who can make my following thoughts sound much more eloquent and smart, but this is what you get.
Mind you this has nothing to do with Korea directly but I have been journaling my personal experiences and growth and this has been a part of it. Being in Korea has helped me to realize me and well i have been doing so much "soul searching" and within the last two or three weeks I have come to some great revelations maybe, (not sure if that is the word I should use...but)
So recently I have shared with you that I have decided to go natural [ great article here] and ever since then I have been researching natural hair, hairstyles, hair care for natural hair, and let me just say I do not believe that a product can be for both chemically treated and natural hair they need totally different things, except moisture, they both need that. But one of the hardest things to find are pictures of natural hair styles that are not dreads, or Sisterlocks, and I totally don't want that. And whats so funny is that I have always been the friend that loved her chemical treatment and got mad at my mother when she suggested going natural, but the more I read I am pretty excited about it. Mind you i have never had to tackle my natural hair alone and I am pretty sure that learning Korean in 6 months would probably be a lot easier, but I feel like I owe it to my hair and in some ways my culture to try it out.
Recently there has been such a debate over natural black hair in the workplace and this article by Glamour magazine is very interesting and I am glad that I read it, I encourage you do to the same I have already sent it to a few of my friends to get their take on it. I have to admit I have been going back and forth about this issue of natural hair being unprofessional and our role models of natural are in positions where it really doesn't equate to the corporate world, ie Jill Scott, Oprah with the cornrows, I also have a friend who attended an HBCU and stated that when attending the Business school Afros and dreads were not allowed, so what are we telling each other as a culture?
This issue of natural hair sparks such a large variety of other topics. Like for instance, in my head anyway, does natural hair embody a certain culture, we usually associate certain looks and styles with certain behaviors and personality traits. I kept thinking about how changing my hair would change me or how i would be perceived as a person, as a black woman more specifically.
Oh! Another random from me...Quaterlife. As many of you know I will be 25 next week which means that I am officially going into the Quarterlife stage and with that comes a what? CRISIS! Which I am pretty sure i have been going through since I was 23, but either way I am addicted to the show now, yes it is a show, book, website, and forum. We are then new Tweens, between school and a career,getting married and having kids later than our parents and grandparents....Check it out!
I have been getting a lot of emails from friends and family that kinda sound like this:
"Wow Mei looks like you are having a great time out there.....Well talk to you later!"
And when I was having a great discussion with two of my friends out here during the Thanksgiving weekend we had a lot of the same feeling in common concerning our lives in Korea, our friends back home, and all that in between. So to all my friends and family back in the States that are reading this "These are my confessions"
I am NOT having a wonderful time. Here is an excerpt from an email I sent one of my friends:
One thing I will say about Korea is that it makes me see me you know? There is no room for a comfort zone I am so out of my element and all the time I feel like I am fighting. And I get lonely you know? I got friends but sometimes my heart gets lonely. Sometimes I feel so fake when people say how proud they are of me and how much fun it looks like I am having cause honestly I don't like it here. It's not fun its hard work and a growth process. They say they are proud when I feel like I am moving backwards and everyday I am trying to find a new view. You know I am more afraid of what I am going home to than what I am staying for. Somehow it's easier to fail or struggle somewhere that isn't home. I am blessed and my bills are getting paid I have the opportunity to see more of the world and at the same time I feel as if I am being left behind. I know we cannot measure our success by that of others but by that of our own happiness, either way I feel like I come up short sometimes. I had suppressed my emotions so much when I first got here that when I went to the movies on the first sad scene I cried like my mother died, the movie was in Korean so you can imagine how confused the rest of the audience must have been I was watching a special with Alicia Keys talking about her album and how she went to Egypt alone, how sometimes you need that time to yourself and I agree. But I wonder if the very things I was trying to leave behind I brought with me? The same people same insecurities same fears same bad habits.
We want to know what is going on in YOUR lives........
There seems to be this misconception that because we are overseas we don't care about what is going on with all of you, or that we are too busy to sit down and read long emails from all of you but we are not. The concept of isolation is the same as if we were in jail or in the service, we want a piece of home and you guys are it. We care about you and what happens to you. We all realize how much we miss in your lives like marriage, babies being born, and the small stuff like buying a cute dress or killer shoes on sale.
Please keep us updated because you are a part of our lives and we miss you. I think that since I go over seas often my friends are used to it and just look at it as nothing but for some others it is their first time abroad and they are having a hard time with the isolation. I got a Face book wall post from my Sands Monique and all it said was "I know you are away from your family so Happy Thanksgiving" and it meant the world to me. Just the acknowledgement that we are away and we do need that meant so much.
I hope this has opened some people eyes and you realize it doesnt have to be big things in your life, that the little things count too. And I am going to take my own advise and do more than just show you the events and picture happenings. I will stop making the assumption that no one is interested in reading my blog without pictures and actually make this a journaling experience. Besides it's fun and great therapy for me. So happy reading and please write back....
Today is Foundation Day here in Korea and although I have no idea what that means I know I get the day off. I am bored out of my mind. Sort of. You see I didn't have enough money to go to the Festival seeing as I have US bills to pay and I have other scheduled trips, but that also left me alone for the day. So let's see what I have done:
Went to see the Nanny Diaries
Bought my ticket for the train to Busan there and back
Walked around downtown Gumi twice
Bought a ticket for Rush Hour 3
Purchased a coffee mug from Angel-in-us Coffee to add to my mug collection
Am paying to use the Internet to write about my current revelations
After watching the Nanny Diaries I have found that she and I have a lot in common. While she was taking this time off watching one kid and searching for her true self I find myself doing the same but watching over 600 children. She moved away from home to NY from Jersey, I pick a whole new country.
One should believe that in being an only child you are given enough time alone to figure out just who you are and who you want to become but honestly you are just given enough time to over analyze everything and second guess yourself. But I'm still glad I did it. And I still want to do it.
Traveling the world should never be viewed as a luxury but a prerequisite to entering what we consider to be "the real world". When experiencing other cultures we become aware of our little bubble and just how to burst it without hurting others. We become sensitive to other cultures and how to adapt to new situations other than a change in hair color, or any other thing that can be viewed as superficial when you look at the whole grand scheme of things.
With each passing day here in Gumi I am learning that maybe I am ready to be a grown up and actually go after the things that I let sit in the back of my head for so long, like fashion school (www.fidm.com) but as I continue on I will not second guess. Thanks for listening.
Well it's official, I'm teaching at two schools. I was so frustrated with Gumi and Korea yesterday I was ready to give my two weeks notice. But you will be surprised what you will take when you look your credit report in the eye.
What frustrates me is the fact that since I don't speak Korean and no one speaks English trying to get a simple yes or no question answered is a great feat. No one seems to ask questions and is satisfied with the first answer given to them. Example: My trip to the bank yesterday.
The first thing I said was that I need a bank that can wire to the US. I ask the girl (well my Co-Teacher did) she said no. I said that I was told by another American who has the same bank that they do, so could she please check with the other tellers otherwise I will have to close my acct. The bank does wire just no that particular location. I have to go to another and catch a cab or the bus. I asked which bus she doesn't know, well can she ask. She Just knows by taxi Next question; does anyone at the other location speak English? No. How do you know you don't work there. (at this point I am highly irritated!) Can you please call that location and find out? There is someone that speaks English and I have her name.
Note To Self: Never Take the first answer given in Korea.
That was yesterday. Today I visited my second school which is like living in Sandy Springs and working deep in Decatur. Or Cleveland and Akron. Or Refugee Rd and Westerville. It sucks. But the meeting with the Principal and VP was successful. I got to introduce myself to the other teachers and some of the students. It is the schools first time having a Native Speaker and the excitement level was high. When I left the students were hanging out of the window shouting all the English they knew. It was cute and unnerving at the same time. I will also be teaching the teachers at both schools for one hour after school Monday and Tuesday.
My weekend plans are changing very quickly. It turns out I will not be going down to Ulsan, but I actually have two other options:
My co-teacher asked me to accompany her to a Temple this weekend to spend the night and have tea with BuddhistMonks. How cool is that. I told her that I am a Christian just for GP, but I would still love to have tea.
The other NS that lives in the same apt building says that there is a bar that is owned by Westerners (as we like to call ourselves) and we can meet others who live here in the city.
We shall see. I am now off to Daegu to possibly sit alone for two hours in Starbucks because none of my friends have a phone (nor do I) But I do have a book. And in true fashion of being my mother's child all I need is a book and I am fine.
Well it's official. I am in Gumi. First off I am not teaching at an all boys school and I am teaching at two schools. But nothing is definite. How is that even possible? My studio Apt is nice, but I still don't seem to have my address. Apt 205 is as good as it gets. So I will have to bug my Co-Teacher, who is so cute (female), and get her to tell my landlord I need the address. There are 3 Very interesting facts about my studio apt:
The bathroom is my shower. Literally. The floor has a drain and the shower head is connected to the sink.
My kitchen is on the patio with my washing machine. It consists of two gas burners, a fridge, and a rice cooker. Oh and a microwave.
My windows have been painted black to block out the light.
But I have a/c which is an actual luxury that many of my friends know I will never use.
So let's do a run through of my day today:
7Am I find out my toilet doesn't flush and have to demonstrate peeing to my landlord to get her to understand
8Am Watch Home Alone 3 because that is the only thing in English on the TV
8:30 Am Go to my school to meet the Principal where I am fed 3 different times (which isn't a bad thing) and the teachers played mini Show-N-Tell with me to the other teachers and classes. Yes S. Koreans have school every other Sat. No I don't have to work.
BTW did I mention the 15 min walk took me 1hr because I took a wrong turn and ended up in the mountains. Bad childhood memories of a similar incident in Lynch Kentucky arose.
12Pm I arrive home change my clothes and head out to the streets. I really just wanted to go to the mall and buy a few items for school and my students, and some black pants. I really dropped the ball on the whole packing business casual clothes.
2pm After walking halfway there I caught the 15 to what I think is downtown and checked out all the shops. Some of them are really expensive, but there are others not so bad. Not like in Seoul though. They seem to have an unnatural obsession with Jessica Alba. Weird. Anyway I am now here in a PC Bang listening to Avril L. and getting ready to eat at Lotteria (the KoreanMcD's) because when going to the grocery store it is best to be able to know how to read the food let alone cook it before you buy it. So there will be a dining out budget. Fruit is all I recognize and they have a french bakery here so I will there. In the next blog I hope to have my address and finish uploading my pictures. Plus have fun class stories. Anyoung! Mei
Today was my first Asian Karaoke experience and the way they do it here is by renting little rooms and about 10 friends go into one room for an hour and sing it up! It is a really big thing here and I am told that I will be doing this as a bonding ritual with my teachers in my school.
I found out today I will be in the city of Gumi (그 미) and it is a possibility that I will be teaching all boys! I am so afraid. All my friends said that of all of us who could handle all boys it would be me. They think I'm a lot tougher than I am, but I will make it work. Now just how to make a lesson plan to accommodate my student base. I learned a lot of good games to play with them in class and I am sure that I will get a good idea of what to do from my Co-Teacher.
That brings me to my job description. My official job title is Native English Speaker. My job is to teach Conversational English in a Team Teaching or Co-Teaching environment. Co-Teaching is when two teachers (one from Korea and the NES) come together in one classroom to teach one common subject. In orientation we have been getting more information about that style and teaching. More teachers are worried because we are told that our Co-Teachers are like our life line and that we want to have a great relationship with them or we can forget about a good life in our city.
But see that's just the thing. I think that the comfort of Orientation has allowed a lot of teachers to be in denial about the fact that they are in a country where they know very little of the language. Some will be fine because they speak a little Korean or even have taught here before, but for those of us who are new, going to the bar every night and getting drunk with the locals is only going to bring a greater form of culture shock when they are all alone in their cities some rural without Internet or a phone for a couple weeks. Traveling to a Folk Village and listening to traditional music does not emerge one in a culture especially in the comfort of the dorm with 3 square meals a day. I have been here for a week but I wonder, is this really Korea?
